yeah I used the same inconvenient truth joke everyone keeps using, get over it.
Far Cry 2 is starting to piss me off, because I can't go anywhere on the map without being attacked about 6 times by the guys at checkpoints.
A (very) simple mod would fix this problem. Either the checkpoint spawn points could be removed, or more ideally the guys manning them could be replaced with those faction type guys from Pala. This would be ideal. You'd pass through the majority of checkpoints unharmed, or you might go through too fast and run over a guy, incurring the wrath of the other soldiers.
Unfortunately, Ubisoft didn't see fit to release a Dunia SDK, and therefore no mods can be created. There is a map editor, so its possible someone could edit the game files and remove all the spawn points, but this wouldnt be distributable since it would a) be huge, and b) consititute a pirated copy of the game.
Monday, January 05, 2009
Friday, December 19, 2008
28 Games Later - still no closer to a decent film
Bit-tech has an article listing 28 (TWENTY EIGHT!!!) games currently being adapted to films. Here is that list replicated, but with my witty/dumb comments.
Cold Fear (2008)
Is that the thing on the boat? That sucked. Although I've seen films with worse plots.
Fear Effect (2008)
Nope. Don't remember that game.
Area 51 (2009)
Game Plot - There are aliens in area 51, shoot them.
Film Plot. There are aliens in Area 51. Watch someone who was in Smallville or Stargate SG1 shoot at them, and eventually escape.
Castlevania (2009)
How does one make a platform film? This will be interesting.
Clock Tower (2009)
Is this a game? A building perhaps, but surely not a game!
Halo (2009)
I thought this was cancelled? Werent there rumours Peter Jackson was to direct then the whole thing went belly up?
Kane & Lynch (2009)
Bank robbers usually make for good film material, but I think the game origin negates that.
The Legend of Spyro (2009)
Cartoon maybe....
Metal Gear Solid (2009)
this could be interesting... a nice anime film of it would be better
Onimusha (2009)
This one is CGI, probably the only genre that suits the game-to-film fiasco
Sabotage 1943 (2009)
Again, I've yet to hear of it.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)
Anime? God I hope so.
Spy Hunter (2009)
Cock Hunter.
The Suffering (2009)
The Audience will do all the suffering (LOL I AM SO FUNNY)
Tekken (2009)
Sweet Zombie Jesus. A StreetFighter, a DOA and Two Mortal Kombat films later and they still haven't learned. Wake up hollywood suits - you can't just take every popular game and turn it into a film!
Warcraft (2009)
How would this even work?
Bioshock (2010)
I used to whinge about how bioshock could suck as a film, but its the only one on the list so far with any potential!
Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars (2010)
Or maybe it isn't....
Driver (2010)
Starring Jason Statham, being apparently the only actor left who can drive.
Earthworm Jim (2010)
There was an earthworm Jim cartoon I think, but I'm guessing this would be a guy-in-a-suit movie like those hilarious Martin Lawrence capers.
Gears of War (2010)
If we can successful offload that wankbag Cliffy B onto the film industry, the unavoidably awful film that results will have been worth it.
God of War (2010)
starring Brendan Fraser. Probably. Did anyone see him drunk on the Graham Norton show the other night?
Joust (2010)
Or 'A Knights Tale, The Game' The Movie. Except without Heath Ledger obviously.
King of Fighters (2010)
See 'Tekken'
Mortal Kombat (2010)
OMFG See Tekken Already
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)
Is this with Jake Gylenhall? did he read the script at all? Hey that rhymes!
Resident Evil 4 (2010)
I have a funny story for this one. My friends 7 year old cousin has ADD, and he loved Resident Evil. After he saw it, he started writing the script for a sequel. Well, to be honest he was more drawing page after page of men shooting dogs, but apparently thats what happened in the first one. Anyway. When the second one came out, I read a review that stated that the script was so convoluted that it appeared 'to have been written by a 7 year old with ADD'. I can only assume the kid sent in his pages of canine hatred and they actually used it.
Splinter Cell (2010)
Has some potential, in a kind of a Tom Clancy writes Jason Bourne kind of way.
World of Warcraft (2011)
Wait. Wait wait wait. They're making a WoW film seperately to a Warcraft film? Oh wait! Maybe the i film will go straight to DVD, but you'll only be able to download the WoW film.
I am shocked. Shocked! Well I'm not that shocked. Hollywood is all about the dosh, and all these films rely on the same principle. Trick just enough people who played the game into going to see it to make the costs back, and hopefully a get a few quid more out of them.
So what games would make for good films? It's hard to say. I could take the moral high ground and say that there simply arent ANY games that translate to the screen properly, but then again I feel like Monkey Island would have made a cracking film, if only the guys who made Pirates of the Caribbean hadn't stolen most of the plot and characters from it.
And now that I think of it, there are a few others that would have worked.
Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis - anything would be better than the Crystal Skull. This could have come close to Crusade.
(the argument here of course, is that this wouldn't be a movie of a game, but simply a sequel to an existing film, on which the game is based)
Crimson Skies - either the PC original or the Xbox sequel. But again, Sky Captain pretty much stole its thunder.
Grim Fandango - it might be quite beetlejuice-ical, but that would be no bad thing.
Cold Fear (2008)
Is that the thing on the boat? That sucked. Although I've seen films with worse plots.
Fear Effect (2008)
Nope. Don't remember that game.
Area 51 (2009)
Game Plot - There are aliens in area 51, shoot them.
Film Plot. There are aliens in Area 51. Watch someone who was in Smallville or Stargate SG1 shoot at them, and eventually escape.
Castlevania (2009)
How does one make a platform film? This will be interesting.
Clock Tower (2009)
Is this a game? A building perhaps, but surely not a game!
Halo (2009)
I thought this was cancelled? Werent there rumours Peter Jackson was to direct then the whole thing went belly up?
Kane & Lynch (2009)
Bank robbers usually make for good film material, but I think the game origin negates that.
The Legend of Spyro (2009)
Cartoon maybe....
Metal Gear Solid (2009)
this could be interesting... a nice anime film of it would be better
Onimusha (2009)
This one is CGI, probably the only genre that suits the game-to-film fiasco
Sabotage 1943 (2009)
Again, I've yet to hear of it.
Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li (2009)
Anime? God I hope so.
Spy Hunter (2009)
Cock Hunter.
The Suffering (2009)
The Audience will do all the suffering (LOL I AM SO FUNNY)
Tekken (2009)
Sweet Zombie Jesus. A StreetFighter, a DOA and Two Mortal Kombat films later and they still haven't learned. Wake up hollywood suits - you can't just take every popular game and turn it into a film!
Warcraft (2009)
How would this even work?
Bioshock (2010)
I used to whinge about how bioshock could suck as a film, but its the only one on the list so far with any potential!
Broken Sword: The Shadow of the Templars (2010)
Or maybe it isn't....
Driver (2010)
Starring Jason Statham, being apparently the only actor left who can drive.
Earthworm Jim (2010)
There was an earthworm Jim cartoon I think, but I'm guessing this would be a guy-in-a-suit movie like those hilarious Martin Lawrence capers.
Gears of War (2010)
If we can successful offload that wankbag Cliffy B onto the film industry, the unavoidably awful film that results will have been worth it.
God of War (2010)
starring Brendan Fraser. Probably. Did anyone see him drunk on the Graham Norton show the other night?
Joust (2010)
Or 'A Knights Tale, The Game' The Movie. Except without Heath Ledger obviously.
King of Fighters (2010)
See 'Tekken'
Mortal Kombat (2010)
OMFG See Tekken Already
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time (2010)
Is this with Jake Gylenhall? did he read the script at all? Hey that rhymes!
Resident Evil 4 (2010)
I have a funny story for this one. My friends 7 year old cousin has ADD, and he loved Resident Evil. After he saw it, he started writing the script for a sequel. Well, to be honest he was more drawing page after page of men shooting dogs, but apparently thats what happened in the first one. Anyway. When the second one came out, I read a review that stated that the script was so convoluted that it appeared 'to have been written by a 7 year old with ADD'. I can only assume the kid sent in his pages of canine hatred and they actually used it.
Splinter Cell (2010)
Has some potential, in a kind of a Tom Clancy writes Jason Bourne kind of way.
World of Warcraft (2011)
Wait. Wait wait wait. They're making a WoW film seperately to a Warcraft film? Oh wait! Maybe the i film will go straight to DVD, but you'll only be able to download the WoW film.
I am shocked. Shocked! Well I'm not that shocked. Hollywood is all about the dosh, and all these films rely on the same principle. Trick just enough people who played the game into going to see it to make the costs back, and hopefully a get a few quid more out of them.
So what games would make for good films? It's hard to say. I could take the moral high ground and say that there simply arent ANY games that translate to the screen properly, but then again I feel like Monkey Island would have made a cracking film, if only the guys who made Pirates of the Caribbean hadn't stolen most of the plot and characters from it.
And now that I think of it, there are a few others that would have worked.
Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis - anything would be better than the Crystal Skull. This could have come close to Crusade.
(the argument here of course, is that this wouldn't be a movie of a game, but simply a sequel to an existing film, on which the game is based)
Crimson Skies - either the PC original or the Xbox sequel. But again, Sky Captain pretty much stole its thunder.
Grim Fandango - it might be quite beetlejuice-ical, but that would be no bad thing.
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Terminator : Salvation
New Trailer
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/terminatorsalvation/large.html
Lets just brush T3 under the rug of time and pretend that this is the only sequel to T2.
http://www.apple.com/trailers/wb/terminatorsalvation/large.html
Lets just brush T3 under the rug of time and pretend that this is the only sequel to T2.
Friday, November 21, 2008
Far Cry 2 Kicks Ass
For all the reasons you've read already. There's nothing I can really add to the wealth of online reviews out there. I loved Far Cry (unlike most people) but it was seriously flawed. Far Cry 2 has corrected these flaws. ALL of them. Just for fun, lets do a list.
- No stupid plot involving mutants and invisible freaks
- Voice acting that doesn't make you laugh / grit teeth / want to stab yourself
- No more unrealistic weaponry
- No more stupid banter from AI bad guys
More than that, Far Cry 2 corrects many flaws of FPS games in general. It does things right that so many have failed to do.
- No more load times. The only loading screen is when you start the game
this is a godsend. I can't stand the action being interrupted by load screens. I hate them. they should have been eliminated when we moved to CD-ROM
- More realistic health kits
ok sometimes pulling a bullet out of your wrist involves a little more hoopla than we see here, but its certainly a start
- Hands
A few games have started to do this, but Far Cry 2 has done it better than most. Picking things up is almost fun.
- No stupid plot involving mutants and invisible freaks
- Voice acting that doesn't make you laugh / grit teeth / want to stab yourself
- No more unrealistic weaponry
- No more stupid banter from AI bad guys
More than that, Far Cry 2 corrects many flaws of FPS games in general. It does things right that so many have failed to do.
- No more load times. The only loading screen is when you start the game
this is a godsend. I can't stand the action being interrupted by load screens. I hate them. they should have been eliminated when we moved to CD-ROM
- More realistic health kits
ok sometimes pulling a bullet out of your wrist involves a little more hoopla than we see here, but its certainly a start
- Hands
A few games have started to do this, but Far Cry 2 has done it better than most. Picking things up is almost fun.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Top 10 Up and Coming (and some current) games
yes, another top 10 list. This is more for me really, looking forward to a lot of stuff at the mo
Coming Soon
Fallout 3, Dead Space, GTA IV, Left 4 Dead, HL2 : Ep3, Mirror's Edge
Here already
FarCry 2, Stalker : Clear Sky
A Long Way Off
Deus Ex 3, DNF, Rage, Borderlands, Fable 2 (on PC), Operation Flashpoint 2
Coming Soon
Fallout 3, Dead Space, GTA IV, Left 4 Dead, HL2 : Ep3, Mirror's Edge
Here already
FarCry 2, Stalker : Clear Sky
A Long Way Off
Deus Ex 3, DNF, Rage, Borderlands, Fable 2 (on PC), Operation Flashpoint 2
Far Cry 2 - 74%
No, it's not the review score I'm giving it. I haven't even played the damn game yet.
I bought it on steam 5 days ago to avoid the SecureRom bullshit (and added paddy tax) that comes with the boxed version.
It's currently trundling along at 10.5 KB/s, at around 74%, up from 68% yesterday.
I've been downloading it for 5 fucking days.
I've blogged in the past about how convenient steam is, about how it brings something to the table that piracy can't, and encourages people to buy games rather than pirate them. Now, I'm beginning to question my beliefs. I would have had the pirate version (assuming there is one, and I'm SURE there is) downloaded about 6 times by now. But here I am still waiting for my legitimate version to come down the tubes.
I have a 2mb connection which runs great for everything else. I've tried all the tricks - firewall rules, deleting the clientregistry.blob, downloading that MS TCP tool and deleting TCP connections - it never goes above 17 KB/s.
This is madness. MADNESS! In these days of bit-torrent, how come they can't build a distributed system for downloading this stuff? It should be easy! I can't be the only person in ireland download Far Cry 2 over steam. Can't we all just download a different piece each and get them off each other? Can't we then authenticate those pieces with a central server?
Of course, between work and moving house and all, I wouldn't have time to play it even if I did have it downloaded, but its the thought that counts.
I bought it on steam 5 days ago to avoid the SecureRom bullshit (and added paddy tax) that comes with the boxed version.
It's currently trundling along at 10.5 KB/s, at around 74%, up from 68% yesterday.
I've been downloading it for 5 fucking days.
I've blogged in the past about how convenient steam is, about how it brings something to the table that piracy can't, and encourages people to buy games rather than pirate them. Now, I'm beginning to question my beliefs. I would have had the pirate version (assuming there is one, and I'm SURE there is) downloaded about 6 times by now. But here I am still waiting for my legitimate version to come down the tubes.
I have a 2mb connection which runs great for everything else. I've tried all the tricks - firewall rules, deleting the clientregistry.blob, downloading that MS TCP tool and deleting TCP connections - it never goes above 17 KB/s.
This is madness. MADNESS! In these days of bit-torrent, how come they can't build a distributed system for downloading this stuff? It should be easy! I can't be the only person in ireland download Far Cry 2 over steam. Can't we all just download a different piece each and get them off each other? Can't we then authenticate those pieces with a central server?
Of course, between work and moving house and all, I wouldn't have time to play it even if I did have it downloaded, but its the thought that counts.
Monday, October 13, 2008
To My Loyal Fans
Ok, I realise the readership on this blog would fit in a phonebox, but I'd still like to apologise to that one person out there reading for the recent state of the blog.
I think we can agree its in dire need of a redesign. The pictures are broken, video links don't work, the text column is about 10% of the screen width, the blogroll links are just plain text....
In short, it needs a lot of work, and I need to decided if its worth keeping up.
We'll soon find out - I'll either be fixing this blog or deleting it in the coming weeks.
Stay tuned. Or Don't.
I think we can agree its in dire need of a redesign. The pictures are broken, video links don't work, the text column is about 10% of the screen width, the blogroll links are just plain text....
In short, it needs a lot of work, and I need to decided if its worth keeping up.
We'll soon find out - I'll either be fixing this blog or deleting it in the coming weeks.
Stay tuned. Or Don't.
Tuesday, August 12, 2008
Far Cry 2
If you havent seen this 20 minute video for FarCry 2 yet then you owe it yourself to watch it.
This has the potential to be the greatest computer game ever created.
In fact, its top of my list of games I'm looking forward to on PC, which looks like this
1. Far Cry 2
Sequel to the fantastic but flawed far-cry, which gave us gorgeous scenery, great weapons, fab combat and then ruined it with a stupid monster storyline
2. GTA-IV
Does this need explaining?
3. Rage
IDs New shooter / racer / Post-Apoc Sandbox FPS game thingie. Looks a tiny bit Doom 3 but still excellent
4. Borderlands
GearBox seem to be making nearly the same game as ID, except set on another planet. Its a good time to be a fan of mad-max style games (re-make Interstate 76 I say)
5. Fallout 3
Oblivion with machine guns and post-apocalyptic cityscapes. Yummy.
6. Left 4 Dead
Another small time game thats been bought up by Valve.
7. Stalker : Clear Sky
The Prequel to the refreshingly original Stalker
8. Whatever Valve come up with next
Apart from left 4 dead I mean.
9. Fable 2
I was one of those 12 people who missed the hype over fable and ended up thinking it was an amazing game as a result. The melee combat was intense, the music and atmosphere just sucked you right in.
10. Duke Nukem Forever
I've seen footage, and although it didnt quite live up to what some people expected (read: the second coming) it still looks like it could be a whole world of fun. And after 11 years it bloody better be a decent long game.
This has the potential to be the greatest computer game ever created.
In fact, its top of my list of games I'm looking forward to on PC, which looks like this
1. Far Cry 2
Sequel to the fantastic but flawed far-cry, which gave us gorgeous scenery, great weapons, fab combat and then ruined it with a stupid monster storyline
2. GTA-IV
Does this need explaining?
3. Rage
IDs New shooter / racer / Post-Apoc Sandbox FPS game thingie. Looks a tiny bit Doom 3 but still excellent
4. Borderlands
GearBox seem to be making nearly the same game as ID, except set on another planet. Its a good time to be a fan of mad-max style games (re-make Interstate 76 I say)
5. Fallout 3
Oblivion with machine guns and post-apocalyptic cityscapes. Yummy.
6. Left 4 Dead
Another small time game thats been bought up by Valve.
7. Stalker : Clear Sky
The Prequel to the refreshingly original Stalker
8. Whatever Valve come up with next
Apart from left 4 dead I mean.
9. Fable 2
I was one of those 12 people who missed the hype over fable and ended up thinking it was an amazing game as a result. The melee combat was intense, the music and atmosphere just sucked you right in.
10. Duke Nukem Forever
I've seen footage, and although it didnt quite live up to what some people expected (read: the second coming) it still looks like it could be a whole world of fun. And after 11 years it bloody better be a decent long game.
Monday, July 21, 2008
Terminator - Salvation
The Terminator was a classic - a film which first introduced the oft
copied concept of an unstoppable killing machine.
copied concept of an unstoppable killing machine.
Terminator 2 : Judgement Day followed, and is in my opinion the
greatest sequel ever created, and probably the finest action film ever
made.
It turned the concept of the previous film around and built a
foundation for the terminator mythos as solid as the stuff a
T-800 is made of. it layered it with philosophy and humour, and it
even managed to give a plausible reason for schwarzneggars inability
to act.
Terminator 3 set fire to all that and then peed it out
Terminator : The Sarah Connor Chronicles ignored t3 to try and jump
off from t2, and it pretty much failed.
now we have this:
http://www.traileraddict.com/trailer/terminator-salvation/teaser-trailer
which isn't looking all that bad. Can Christian Bale do for Terminator
what he did for Batman? Granted, Christopher Nolan isn't involved, so
its not the same situation at all really, but still - I have hope.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
BioShock the Movie
http://www.bit-tech.net/news/2008/03/27/take-two_considering_bioshock_mmo_film_/1
Ugh.
I can already see how this is going to go down, and I don't like it.
Ugh.
I can already see how this is going to go down, and I don't like it.
- Our single protagonist will be replaced by a multi-ethnic group of misfits, exploring an abandoned underwater US Military research station called 'Rapture'
- It will have massive, stupid, genetically engineered monsters instead of splicers
- It will have a big daddy somewhere in the background as a 'tribute' to the game
- It will star one of the following - Vin Diesel, Jessica Biel, Christian Slater, Jessica Alba, Paul Walker or Ice Cube
- It will be a big mountain of monkey shit heaped with horrible cliches and one-liners, and anyone who's played the game will hate it.
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